no need to stress, keeps you down too much

It has been an interesting week.

One of those weeks where you can't help but question pretty much everything that you are doing and barely skirt a nervous breakdown trying to figure out the best direction only to succumb to the sweet release of apathy.

And my roots were orange for a minute, that was cool.

They aren't anymore.

iheartwednesdays

..................................

can't get had enough:

Random fact, but at my PR job, I do a lot of monitoring of Google and Twitter feeds. The feeds are generated through key words that have to do with our clients. Pretty simple, right? Well, one of our clients is a hotel downtown that shares its name with a square garden venue in New York. Unfortunately, there is no way to differentiate between the two, even by adding "Memphis" to the key words. Because of this, I am forced to read daily countless tweets from GROWN WOMEN [as in girls 16 and above] who are STILL talking about Justin Bieber. Now, I'm not positive, but I don't think that kid has had a show at the Garden in months. These girls are still tweeting about how he sold out the venue in like 20 minutes and how he was inspired by Taylor Swift's show there and how anytime anyone mentions M.S.G. they almost CRY thinking of Justin. IT. MAKES. ME. ILL. STOP IT. You are OLD ENOUGH to understand how stupid you sound. If you must have an illegitimate crush on some jailbait boy [hey, we've all been there] KEEP IT TO YOURSELF. Sincerely, your future embarrassment.** 

stuck in my head:
REVOFEV. I've been on the Cudi train for a few days. I find his tunes are good for stress. He's so adorable, too.
[no sample this week, grooveshark is being a wank]

gimme some more:

Chocolate. Just give me some chocolate. Any chocolate. I'm going through withdrawals.

can't put it down:

Broke my own cardinal rule of finishing a book before starting a new one. I've taken a step back from I Found This Funny [through no fault of it's own, mostly just because I got kind of busy and missed a few days and then Lies Chelsea Handler Told Me came out...] I'm a sucker for her books, and I wanted to have a light read for the beach trip this weekend, but I couldn't make myself wait to start it. How this woman gets away with all of the crazy bs she pulls is amazing, and also hilarious. I wish that was my job, in SO many ways. Totally jealous.

lesson learned:

Oh, box hair color, you fickle friend, you. Apparently the Garnier people's idea of the color of roasted coffee differs vastly from my roots'  impression of roasted coffee. Thank you , L'Oreal for manufacturing "root rescue" and thank  you mom for fixing it promptly and dealing with my hysteria all the while.

can't wait till:

Hangout. Tomorrow. End.

this week in stills:

Finally uploaded the pics of the dart showdown--although one is kind of blurry--and got a couple good ones of me and my ladies downtown all believing in Memphis and what not.

**I would like to add that I am not hating on these ladies for liking J.B. To each her own, and all that jazz. Lord knows I've had celeb crushes on some doozies. BUT, Twitter has added an unsightly element to these unrequited loves, and it's embarrassing. So, girls, let's think before you tweet about your undying devotion to a 17 year old pop idol, ok?

birthday-cation

birthday-cation (n): a vacation from any place of employment or duty or debt for a period of time no less than 4 days and no more than 7 days, which happens to include the birthdate of the vacationer.

Day 1: Birthday

Fireball, Gift-bearing, Steak

Red Velvet cake

Flowers, Wine, more gift-bearing

Day 2: Angela & Amanda's Day Of Fun

Iced Chai, Shopping, "Girl that looks so cute, you have to get it,"

More shopping, Hair dye, facials,

Hem hem, Haw haw, Giggle giggle

Day 3

Work in the middle of birthday-cation!? Must start over.

Day 1 [4]: Travel

Pruning, Packing, Dilly dallying

More iced chai, More packing

Cheeseburgers, Red bull, Feed the Animals

Headlights, Tail lights, Bright lights, No lights

Nashville

Cheese dip, Margaritas, Bad tequila

Ping pong, Friendly cabbies, Bonding

 

Bed.

Day 2 [5]

Sleep, sleep, sleep, and Waffle House

Apples to Apples, Truth be Told, Blink

Japanese Ketchup, Philly, Filet

Valentines Day?

Irish pub, Hotel instead, More games.

Bed.

Day 3 [6]: More travel

Brunch, browse, drive,

Home again

More margaritas, more gift bearing

Much needed bed.

Day 4 [7] Back in the swing

Shopping, Long awaited Nude-colored heels

Treadmill (...) 

Re-set, Coffee, Lemon Poppyseed, Pizza

More birthday [this time, not mine]

impromptu GIRL TALK concert

 

Day 5 [8]: The end

Sleep late, Rainy day, Movie day sweater

Black Swan 

Whoppers, Yoga

 Beef Stew.

Phew.

Oh, hey....

Where have I been?

Why have I been neglecting my web log?

What insane twist of fate could keep me from detailing my über-exciting life to all of you?

In truth, the past 10 days have been a blur of food, football, family and friends, and heavy sinus medication. It's difficult to differentiate separate days but for a few select events that stick out in my mind.

Let me catch you up.

My last post was that I was going to see Harry Potter 7pt.1?

Well it was amazing. 

I worked the entire weekend after that, closing the bar three nights in a row and waking up on Tuesday last with a pesky sinus infection.

I proceeded to self-medicate and sleep.

Wednesday, with the help of my neti-pot and a hefty dose of Day Quil, I returned to work.

That same day, [and possibly to my detriment] I found I felt well enough at least to follow through with some upstanding dinner plans with someone visiting for the break, who just so happened to be my best friend from kindergarten. Oh, and it was the birthday of another good friend of mine, so I felt compelled to celebrate with him.

That brings us to Thursday? Thanksgiving deliciousness. Still sick, but thankfully and happily in the hands of one form of family or another all day, each of whom insisted on feeding me until I fell into a turkey-induced stupor.

Friday. I think I slept for the majority of the day. I was feeling better at this point, so I decided it would be alright if I ventured downtown with my girlfriends.

Saturday? Another day of sleeping. Followed by work, followed by a new phase of the ick, the coughing phase.

Sunday. More work. More coughing.

Monday. I've had enough, I cave to the antibiotics. I think I was awake for a grand total of 7 hours the entire day.

So here we are, on Tuesday. Still recuperating. And now I've admitted to all of you how much of a sloth I have been for going on two weeks.

I've missed my little mac!

I've missed reading up on all of your Thanksgiving festivities.

I missed Black Friday [which was at least halfway on purpose, due to my lack of funds and my inability to combat a sale.] I also missed all the Cyber sales, which is kind of unfortunate.

I can't keep from feeling as though I am already behind for Christmas.

My room is in disarray, and there is an Amanda-shaped dent in the bed.

And if that wasn't enough, my Colts are nearly at a 500 for their record, and that is not okay.

Feels like the holidays!?

Here's to taking the antibiotic energy bursts and cleaning up, taking a walk, catching up on emails, and getting myself back on track.

I've got Christmas cards to get out.

Yours, truly

Disconnect.

So I am sitting at a local coffee spot, enjoying my first hot chocolate of the season and making notes for my next Examiner article, when I am sidetracked [the ADD kicks in] by, of all things, Facebook.

I don't get on Facebook on my computer much anymore. The whole having an iPhone thing has put checking email, facebook, stumbling, and online banking right at the tip of my fingers at any given time, so there hasn't been much need. But when I am in front of my Macbook, it's hard not to wander over and check out everyone's Halloween pictures and see what my far away friends are up to.

Today I was browsing through the profiles of my college friends and a sneaky little sadness came over me all at once as I realized:

I have no idea about what's going on in their lives anymore.

Of course I still talk to my close college buds every so often. We catch up, share some laughs, try to cram as much into a conversation as you can. We organize weekend visits and spend the entire time cracking up and reminiscing. But looking through their pictures and seeing all the little inside jokes posted here and there made the glaring point that I am just not connected with these people like I used to be, and I guess, really, I won't be anymore.

Like I said, I got really sad.

Of course, what did I expect, really? It's impossible to stay that close-knit when you are 6 or more hours away from someone, and when you are in a different phase of life altogether. I went through a similar disconnect when I left my core group of girls to go off to college. It was terrible. We made do with Christmas visits and long emails. I guess the difference then was that I created a new niche for myself in college, surrounding myself with a family of people that carried me through those 4 years.

Now I am out of school, back home, working, trying to figure out what I should do with my life, while they are still in that niche, just sans-Amanda.

I think that another reason this disconnect struck me so much was because, not only do I miss the times I had with those people, but I am suffering from a severe withdrawal of the group mentality. Fortunately, I do have one close friend living at home as well, which helps immensely. But I think back to when my college apartment was full with close friends who all wanted to just hang out together. Here, that ratio dwindles considerably.

I'm sure this is something that everyone goes through when they leave their college towns. And when I was there, all I could think about was how much I hated long distancing with lkj and how much I wished we could be together more, because I just missed him so much. I guess there's always going to be something you miss?

I'm thankful, though, in spite of missing them terribly, that I was fortunate enough to have such an amazing group of people to spend that time with.

Because we certainly had some good times.

 Maybe I'm scared to grow up?

Maybe I miss the carefree capriciousness of college?

Maybe I just really miss those people and those times.

All of the above?

I just have to remind myself that I am embarking on a new and exciting phase of life. I am very thankful for where I am, for the opportunities open to me, for the happiness of being close to lkj again and being near my family. I may not be as close to them as I was a few months back, but we will always have our memories together, and we will certainly make more in the future.

Love you guys :)

Yours, truly

i heart the fear.

My friend's house is haunted.

She's a good friend, otherwise I would probably avoid her house any time that it is dark outside.

Let me preface this by saying that I watched a scary movie tonight.

I used to love scary movies. When I was younger, like pre-teen type young, I watched all kinds of scary movies and I was never really scared of anything. I thought myself very level-headed.

Then I saw The Ring.

You remember? The one with the creepy drenched crazy girl who crawls out of TV's and kills unsuspecting victims and warps their faces because they watched some weird homemade video a week before?

That movie scared me bad, and out of nowhere! It was that nasty face that pops up at you, surprising you unpleasantly and sending chills through your whole body instantly. It just jumps right out there at you! No warning! I would put a picture up but I don't want to catch anyone off guard and freak them out unknowingly. It was gross. And I think that was the turning point. After that I started to be legitimately scared of scary movies.

Last Halloween I watched too many scary movies in a short period of time, and I got all paranoid and skittish for a minute. We watched all of the classics, and then I topped off the list with a movie that had just come to theaters, Paranormal Activity.

Also really scary.

Not real. Still scary.

We watched that tonight. At my friend's haunted house.

It wasn't as bad the second time, considering I knew what to expect and when certain scary bumps and jumps were going to happen. But, still. I got a little worked up.

She doesn't help the situation. She thinks it's funny when I'm freaked.

And she likes to tell stories about the creepy things that she hears on her creaky wooden stairs in her house with unsettling mirrors placed in eerily scary spaces.

She also makes me brownies, so it evens out.

Truth be told, I get a kick out of it too.

I mean I'm completely scared, and I never wish to see a figure or shape or anything. I'm straight on that.

But it is funny how we love to hate to be scared.

I guess we're getting a jump start on Halloween this year.

I think I want to be a flapper...

Yours, truly

Hey, Thanks!

Happy hump day all.

My dear Spain love Emmy has passed along a blog award to me, and it has certainly brightened my day!

This has been my first peer-blogger shout out, which is so exciting!

According to Emmy, there are 4 rules that go along with this here honor:

Number 1- Thank the person who gave you the award:

Gracias, Emmy!! Te amo :)

Number 2- Share 7 things about yourself:

-I am a Capricorn.

-I love nonfiction and autobiographies.

-My favorite ice cream is mint chocolate chip.

-I enjoy yoga.

-I want to write and publish a book.

-My favorite color is purple.

-One of my guilty pleasures: Halo 3 on Xbox.

Number 3- Pass the award along to 15 other bloggers who you've recently discovered and who you think are positively fantastic:

[Since I'm relatively new to the blog scene, I'm ever discovering new blogs I want to follow. But, it's a rather long process, so I'm going to cut it down to 10 blogs that I am following and that I think are peachy!]

-In dreams and love, there are no impossibilities

-Home is wherever I'm with you

-Emmy, In Progress [sending the love back to you!]

-Chicago girl, by way of Memphis

-Rauwolf Family

-Memphis Mama

-Welcome to the real world

-What the french, toast?

-Dori the Giant

-Of All the Nonsense

and Number 4- Contact those lucky bloggers and tell them about the award!

I just love blog fun.

Yours, truly

Sand between my toes.

So, I think this is the longest I have gone without updating since I started this here web log. Lo siento. BUT I have a legitimate excuse, I promise! 
I have been on the first leg of my month-long vacationing these past few days in sunny Wilmington, NC!

My long-time friend Angela and I decided that, en lieu of the drabness that this summer has offered us, we would pack up, throw caution [and finance] to the wind, and drive to see our friend MJ at the beach. She's been going to school here for four years, and has been wanting us to visit. And we did, right at the buzzer-she's leaving for home [for good] the day after us ha.

So, Angela drove up to Knox last Friday and hung out with me for the weekend, and Sunday morning, we were beach bound!

If you were here, you might be remiss in your blog updates too ;)

Nothing relaxes the mind more than the sounds of the surf...and of course, catching up with the ladies.

As a post script- I promise that I will soon have some new updates about what I'm reading, as well as a new addition to the blog that, if I have some down time tomorrow, I will go ahead and get started on! 

[I know, oxy-moron- down time at the beach, but you would be surprised how much time it takes to de-sand after laying out all day. But, hey, I'm not complaining.]

Yours, truly

Shout out to a strong black woman

Whenever I would be going through something really trying, a friend of mine would always say to me, "You are a strong black woman, Amanda. You can do this."

I, of course, am not. But it was the mindset that she was trying to get me into. That take-no-b.s. attitude that we attribute to strong African American ladies. I needed to channel that strength.

Today, I was reminded that I am not the only one dealing with uncertainty, with decisions bigger than myself, and with trying to figure out my way in life.

I've come to realize that pretty much everyone I know that is my age is going through something similar right now. They aren't the same situations, mind you, but the same questions, the same frustration, and that same sense of helplessness at times. It's an odd kind of comfort; you certainly wouldn't wish this kind of cognitive dissonance on anyone, but it's kind of nice to know you aren't the only one feeling that way.

There's always a silver lining.

What's great about not being alone is just that: there's always someone you can talk to that has either been where you are, or is dealing with something similar, and you can hash it out. You can figure out what to make of your predicament, and how to deal with it from there. 

I am so thankful for the people in my life that have done that for me, and I think I've underestimated how much I truly enjoy having the opportunity to do that for someone that I care about. Today, I was able to put my own issues down for just a moment, and be an ear for someone else, as others have done for me on countless occasions.

Here's a little tribute to some of the best people I know, who have helped me through more than they know :)

 D.

my foursome.

lil face.

my bitches.

 

                                  spain love                                                                   r.p.

[and the list goes on...]

At this incredibly chaotic and confusing time in our lives, it's really nice to have that core group, who you know will always have your back.

I'm incredibly blessed.

Depending on the day, and the whim of the universe, the chaos will inevitably hit some of us harder than others. For the one who's taking the brunt on this Tuesday [and of course it would be a Tuesday ha...] I love you very much, and you are a strong black woman!

Yours, truly

 

Tuesday's coming around

My dear, dear friend (basically my kin) Angela and I have this running commentary about how terrible Tuesday's are. Since high school, we have always wondered why Tuesday's are generally so...blah. We have attributed it to the fact that a) it's not Monday, so you don't really have a legit reason to be perturbed and b) it's not far enough into the week to where you can start getting excited for Friday. Hence, our general sentiment towards this day was as follows:

"It's only Tuesday..."

I have to say though, that due to my current scheduling, Tuesday's aren't getting such a bad rap anymore. Reason: I don't have to work tomorrow, and I'm stoked. So thanks, Tuesday, for stepping up. Friday has pretty big shoes to fill.

___________________________________________

I am truly enjoying being back on the blog scene, although I know I still have a ways to go before I'm where I would like to be with it. I have to thank my wonderful Spain love Emmy for inspiring me to get back into it. I created a blog last year when I went to Spain for the purpose of keeping people at home updated on what I was doing. I'd posted on it sparingly since then, but it lacked a coherent theme and the pizazz that I really wanted. Part of this was because I was still in school, and so blogging fell by the wayside to Spanish papers and reporting packages. But, now that I'm officially a graduate, I am need of a project.

So,  I'm making a comeback.

However, after perusing through a few blogs (out of the 10 million or so that are out there, literally), I've determined that the standard is pretty high (and that I seriously need to brush up on my knowledge of html ha.) Once again, thanks for the inspiration.

Yours, truly