a hodge podge of thoughts that may or may not make any sense at all

the simple truth: Finally made it back to the wednesday yoga this week after a brief hiatus in which the girls and I tested the hypothesis that wine in and of itself was sufficient for mid-week relaxation. The consensus (at least from my standpoint) is alternation. I can't bring myself to choose against either, because they are both just great (athough they don't really mix all that well). Anyways the point is that the focus for the class was simplicity, and our instructor read us a passage emphasizing the importance of realizing your simple truth and then embodying it. Instead of trying to be all of these different things for all of these different people in all of these different situations, just find the simple you, the essence of you, and be that always. Much less stressful. No need to worry anymore about how to be in any given situation. Just being instead. 

I feel like when it comes to me, most people who know me know what they are going to get. I'm not very mysterious, nor have I ever really wanted to be. I enjoy being who I am. The key for me in this was putting an emphasis on the simplicity. Paring down the things that I add to my psyche that clutter the essence of me, that don't serve me in some positive way, and that cause me unnecessary stress. Trying to let go of all that and embrace the simplicity. 

the collective apathy: I decided that I love this phrase. I said it the other day and the had to google it directly to see if I could claim it as my own. Unfortunately I cannot, ha. There is a blog named after it, which I haven't read yet, but it doesn't look like they update it too terribly often, plus they don't know me or my little corner of the web SO whatever I'm still using it. ANYWAYS. The collective apathy is for real. I think it can also be called your twenties. Unless you are one of those that is already a CEO at age 23, in which case please excuse yourself from this section of the post as it doesn't apply to you, although you aren't really helping the C.A. situation so thanks for that.

Basically it goes like this- the majority of people that I talk to who are in their twenties have the same sort of attitude toward life in general. We are in staggered stages of bafflement, facing varying degrees of disenchantment from coming to terms with the fact that working life is nothing like we had once thought it would be in the romantic mindsets of our naivete. And who can blame us? Having to consciously make the decision to put someone else's demands and time schedule before your own and to become bonded to bills before you even realize it and to come to grips with the choice of either doing this for eternity or figuring out some other feasible and functional plan is A LOT TO DEAL WITH. And the fact that most of us are all going through this together means it's really difficult for any of us to pull each other out of it. So we continue on our paths, clinging to optimism and every bit of laughter that we can because we have to hope that eventually we will figure this thing out. And hopefully get a raise and more vacation days.

the dark days: so speaking of apathy... It's about to be super dark outside ya'll. Like... only light for the 8 hours a day that i'm IN AN OFFICE kind of dark. My mind thinks it's bedtime at like 6 p.m. I guess it's kind of cool in a way, because we get to see what life is like in Greenland, or, I dunno, the North Pole. [No wonder Santa hasn't been able to lose those 20 lbs. It's even HARDER to go to the gym when it feels like it's 10:30 at night.. COME ON.) But, from my 23 years of experience I never remember being upset about this time change for more than like a day [I have an attention span strikingly similar to a goldfish, apparently.] So I'm sure I'll get acclimated fine. And maybe I'll take some long lunches.

the holidays: I. Love. Holidays. Not so much the CF planning hell that comes along with the holidays, but it's all part of it so whatever. FIRSTLY, we got lots of days off for the holidays. PLUS lkj and I are going on vacay right before thanksgiving so it's like double bonus. AND, beginning with our anniversary [which was last week, 7 years yay us], there are literally 6 holidays crammed into the span of like two and a half months [anniversary, halloween, thanksgiving, christmas, new years eve, and my birthday. Yes I am counting that as a holiday for myself.] Plus other people's birthday's mixed in. So I'm pretty stoked. By the time we get through that whirlwind of celebration, the dark days will be a thing of the past.

Probably I should go do some actual work now. Happy Friday friends!

Should old acquaintance be forgot

Happy twenty eleven!!

[that's how I'm referring to it. Officially. Back off all you "two thousand eleven-ers."]

We rang it in right, with good friends, dance music, and midnight kisses all around.

Let's start the year off with a list post, shall we?

They are my fav.

10 things I took from [twenty]10

 .1. I am still young, with so much time ahead of me to figure myself and the world out.

.2. Graduating from college seems like the end of something, when really it hardly scratches the surface of what is to come. [I find it hard to believe that I have been out of school for over 6 months, but alas.]

.3. Nothing can take the place of kindred spirits.

.4. Working at a restaurant is a lifestyle in and of itself. It's not always fun, but it is sometimes, and there's nothing wrong with working hard, even if it's not what you studied to do. [See number 1.]

.5. Student loans are a rite of passage into adulthood, and also debt.

.6. Family becomes more and more important the older that you get. They might be a lot to take, but they are yours, and they will always support you.

.7. Everyone needs a cheerleader sometimes.

.8. Paying all of your bills by yourself is a very liberating experience, and it will change your entire awareness about the value of money and the importance of not spending it all the time. [This can be a difficult lesson to learn, but necessary nonetheless]

.9. Finding the joy in every situation will enrich your life more than you would think. The little things are what make you happy more often than the big ones, and it's important to be aware of how blessed you really are.

.10. Generosity is like karma, what goes around comes around.

11 resolutions for [twenty]11

.1. Get an internship in my career field.

.2. Read more about history [biographies, 1900's, political history, biology of the earth, etcetera]. I am of the mind frame that the more I understand about where we come from, the better I will be able to understand where we are headed. Plus it's really interesting.

.3. Be more proactive about the things I want to do in my life, such as traveling abroad again. [Figure out ways to make it happen]

.4. Complain less. Pout less. Appreciate more.

.5. Be more patient [with others and with myself]

.6. I got this next one out of my new book [yay christmas!] by Rainn Wilson and the Soulpancake crew, called Chew on Life's Big Questions. It's a quote from Marie Curie [so you know it's legit, ha]: "Be less curious about people and more curious about ideas" Enough said.

.7. Keep my lovely weblog up and running and current and beautiful.

.8. Take small trips. I love traveling, but I can't always swing the costs. A weekend away, however, I can budget for, and I think it's good to keep from getting too stagnant.

.9. Try to maintain a healthy lifestyle, including staying active and striving to eat better. [Or at least staying active.] This includes investing in a bicycle when the weather permits riding again.

.10. Do yoga as much as possible. Explore getting certified as an instructor.

.11. Make a conscientious effort to save money better.

I'm using the term resolutions loosely, because many would argue that making too many outlandish goals is just setting yourself up for disappointment. I'm not looking at it that way. I'm looking at it as taking a survey of myself from the previous year, and pointing out what I feel like I should work on and bear in mind for the next. It is something that should be done at regular intervals, and a year works pretty well.

Happy new year :)

Yours, truly

Let the countdown begin.

We have less than two weeks till Christmas!

I am excited to say that much of my shopping is done. I am not so excited to realize that I am considerably poorer than I was a week ago.

Oh well.

As they say, 'tis the season. We are getting a little festive ourselves.

Everyone that I know, excluding my grandparents and a few recently graduated comrades, is knee-deep in finals right now. Every time I enter a coffee shop, it's full of studious little workers on their laptops clicking away and highlighting in their corresponding books. Today I had the fortune of beating a gaggle of high school girls [clad in Catholic school skirts] in line at Starbucks. A study group no doubt. And the sight of them struck a cord in my memories.

I still miss school.

Even.....High school. The skirts did it to me. And the saddle oxfords.

[I might add that high school was actually pretty awesome...And super easy comparatively speaking..so it's not such a stretch I guess. But still.]

It seems like finals would be the time I would reminisce about with the least fondness. But I am kind of a nerd. I always sort of liked the coffee-induced studying and vigorous paper writing. And I especially enjoyed the subsequent month long break from everything when all you had to do was sit around and hang out with your buddies.

Ah the good life.

'Tis no longer the case. In fact, I found out a couple of days ago that I'll be working Christmas night... It's not so bad I guess. I kind of knew it was coming, and at least this means I should get New Year's Eve off. They say it's a pretty busy night on Christmas. Apparently folks like to indulge after spending all day with their families and going broke at Target.

Well, I'm off to watch Sav's Christmas program.

She's going to be adorable.

Tomorrow I get to get into the wrapping paper :) 

I love wrapping presents.

Yours, truly

These days

It seems like all I do these days are Wednesday love lists. Every time I turn around it's time for another one. Luckily I have lots of things to love.

wednesday love list

can't get enough of- the cold weather. I know I complain about how cold it is, but I really don't mind it so much. Anyway it doesn't start feeling like Christmas around here until the cold settles in. Which in our case is right about now. At least it made it in time for December. I can't deal with mild Christmases.

tuning my fancy- the entire Brothers album by the Black Keys. I've had it in my car CD player for about a week now so I've listened to all the tracks about 18 times. It's a great album, with just the right amount of soul and stank.

craving- soup in a bread bowl. Preferably country potato. I had it last week. I want it again.

can't put down- my Sudoku book [Will Shortz]. I've recently rekindled my love of the numbered puzzles.

life lesson- Antibiotics work. You needn't wait a week with a sinus infection before realizing this. I actually emerged from my cave today, went to work, and enjoyed moving around for the first time in over a week. I feel like a real person again.

looking forward to- decorating for Christmas! I'm in the process of scrounging up a tree, and lkj and I have new stockings [which he has promised he will adorn with our names in cool letters very soon.] Christmas makes me happy. 

Speaking of Christmas, lkj and I watched a special last night on the History Channel called the Real Story of Christmas. Of course we all know the Santa Claus is a fable modeled after St. Nicholas. But this show went into a little more depth than your average elementary school class about pretty much all of our favorite traditions, like the tree and the lights and how we even came to celebrate Christmas when we do. Christians celebrate the holiday as Jesus' birthday. I thought it was slightly humorous, however, that the reason it is celebrated it in December stems from a pagan celebration of the shortest day of the year. They brought the greens inside from the cold, used the lights to "push away the darkness", and had to slaughter calves that they couldn't afford to feed. To them, it seemed like the perfect time for a feast, so they had one. They called it Noel. Much later, Christians decided to expand on this holiday in honor of the king-child's birthday, although they weren't sure when his actual birthday was.

Interesting, huh?

And now we use it as an excuse to buy everybody presents and drink egg nog and sing ridiculous songs and fill socks with candy and pens and book lights.

It's awesome.

So now you've had your lesson for the day.

Yours, truly

Oh, hey....

Where have I been?

Why have I been neglecting my web log?

What insane twist of fate could keep me from detailing my über-exciting life to all of you?

In truth, the past 10 days have been a blur of food, football, family and friends, and heavy sinus medication. It's difficult to differentiate separate days but for a few select events that stick out in my mind.

Let me catch you up.

My last post was that I was going to see Harry Potter 7pt.1?

Well it was amazing. 

I worked the entire weekend after that, closing the bar three nights in a row and waking up on Tuesday last with a pesky sinus infection.

I proceeded to self-medicate and sleep.

Wednesday, with the help of my neti-pot and a hefty dose of Day Quil, I returned to work.

That same day, [and possibly to my detriment] I found I felt well enough at least to follow through with some upstanding dinner plans with someone visiting for the break, who just so happened to be my best friend from kindergarten. Oh, and it was the birthday of another good friend of mine, so I felt compelled to celebrate with him.

That brings us to Thursday? Thanksgiving deliciousness. Still sick, but thankfully and happily in the hands of one form of family or another all day, each of whom insisted on feeding me until I fell into a turkey-induced stupor.

Friday. I think I slept for the majority of the day. I was feeling better at this point, so I decided it would be alright if I ventured downtown with my girlfriends.

Saturday? Another day of sleeping. Followed by work, followed by a new phase of the ick, the coughing phase.

Sunday. More work. More coughing.

Monday. I've had enough, I cave to the antibiotics. I think I was awake for a grand total of 7 hours the entire day.

So here we are, on Tuesday. Still recuperating. And now I've admitted to all of you how much of a sloth I have been for going on two weeks.

I've missed my little mac!

I've missed reading up on all of your Thanksgiving festivities.

I missed Black Friday [which was at least halfway on purpose, due to my lack of funds and my inability to combat a sale.] I also missed all the Cyber sales, which is kind of unfortunate.

I can't keep from feeling as though I am already behind for Christmas.

My room is in disarray, and there is an Amanda-shaped dent in the bed.

And if that wasn't enough, my Colts are nearly at a 500 for their record, and that is not okay.

Feels like the holidays!?

Here's to taking the antibiotic energy bursts and cleaning up, taking a walk, catching up on emails, and getting myself back on track.

I've got Christmas cards to get out.

Yours, truly

Make me a thrifty santa

It's time to get serious.

I have to really buckle down.

I've discussed before the fact that I am not very deft at saving money....Well, despite my best efforts, I haven't really gotten much better as of late. Probably because I'm playing it a little fast and loose with the term "best" efforts.

Also, not to make excuses for my less than kosher saving habits, but in my defense nonetheless, I work at a restaurant, so my livelihood is dependent upon the ebb and flow of customers. Lately it has been a little more ebb and a little less flow.

All this to say that Christmas is a short 39 days away.

[Get excited!]

Even if I become a champion saver in the next few weeks, I would still need a holiday miracle to pull off the kind of gifts I would like to get for everyone.

So I need to get creative.

This holiday season I'll be experimenting with some new and tasty treats, and trying my hand at a little artistic flare in an attempt to gussy up some non-expensive gift ideas. And I need to get started pretty soon to leave myself some room for trial and error [which I am certain will be my case. Especially in the art area...]

Also- No more visiting Target on a whim.

[It gets me every time. I'm powerless over that store.]

If anyone has any creative insights for this non-artist, or any tried and true web suggestions for thrifty gift ideas, please pass them my way!

In the spirit of being productive, I have also decided to extend myself a new and improved Monday challenge. Lately, lkj and I have been jogging together, which has turned out to be pretty great for both of us in lots of ways. Now, I've decided to focus on Yoga. I've always loved the practice, and I've been thinking that if I really focus on perfecting it, I could get certified to teach a fitness class. This makes my OCD very happy because it is lucrative and healthy and happy all at the same time.

Today, however, is a rainy day. 

I am looking forward to doing as little as possible in it's honor.

Yours, truly

Half off Halloween candy.

I swear, sometimes days just blur together and an entire weekend is completely gone before you can even realize that you are, in fact, already behind.

Recap: Friday no work, more play, running late, beer schnatzel [?], Wicked [amazing], burgers  Saturday sleep late, lots of bacon, devil horns, greenline, brownies, [more] pumpkin carving, scary movies  Sunday Halloween [happy birthday grandpa!], pancakes, festival, [unyielding] cake walk, [wonderfully delicious and nearly incapacitating] ribs, nap.

I rather prefer the weekend mentality, myself.

Yours, truly

i'll be up, up and away.

Check me out-my first article posted! 
I'd love to have your support! [The more clicks, the more I make sooo...]
There will be many more to come!
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wednesday love list

can't get enough of: scary movies!! It's Halloween week which means it's time to watch as many scary movies as possible. Already this week we've seen both Paranormal Activity's, Halloween, The Shining, and Cujo.

tuning my fancy: Up Up and Away, KiD CuDi

craving: honey bunches of oats [with almonds] cereal

can't put down: the VS holiday catalogue. It's as thick as a monthly magazine, and I'm dog-earring left, right, and center. It's not looking good for my funds.

life lesson: actual pumpkin carving tools make pumpkin carving so much easier and way more fun.

looking forward to: Anniversary date night [featuring Wicked!] this Friday and Halloween festivities Saturday.

Here's some pictures from our jack-o-lantern fun:

Yay Halloween.

Yours, truly

i love thursdays, too...

I'm a day late on this week's love list, but in my defense, I had started a post yesterday evening that was interrupted by an impromptu chinese take out dinner and wine date.

Clearly, the dan dan noodles have a pull over me.

But Thursday's are just as good a day, right?

This week I'm loving

-sticking to my Monday challenge [for the most part...]

-planning a few upcoming and exciting weekend adventures

-wine in long-stemmed glasses

-lkj's new flat screen TV

-being one day closer to the weekend

Unfortunately, this week I have one glaring un-love, and that is my continuing lack of a creative and awesome and inexpensive Halloween costume idea. A friend and I went by the party shop a couple days ago to scope out some ideas and see what we had to work with... I had been thinking I could be a flapper, so I was trying to see how much a costume along those lines would run me. Just a cheaply made fringe dress and an elastic head piece is 25 bones, and that doesn't include any of the fun stuff [like a fiery red feather boa and an old-timey cigarette holder, how fun!] 

I'm still stumped.

I want to wear a wig, because when else can you really get away with that with no explanation required? I don't really want to buy a run-of-the-mill costume either, because that is kind of boring and expensive, and I'd like to take a little creative license with it. 

Another negative in this scenario is that at the end of the summer, when I moved back to Memphis from my college apartment, I got rid of a lot of unnecessary clothing items in an attempt to consolidate and de-clutter myself. Unfortunately, it is that kind of stuff that comes in handy when trying to pull together a homemade costume.

Sigh.

So, the search continues I guess.

The reason I want to find a good costume so badly is that this is the first Halloween in years that I'll be home with the bf and this particular group of amigos to celebrate, and I'm actually off work that Saturday, so we can all go out and do what we do... I want to have a super cool costume!

It's so much easier for guys. Lkj has a slew of costume ideas [from me! Apparently when it's not my costume, I'm a labyrinth of creativity] including Where's Waldo, Donnie Darko, or the classic sheet ghost [which I think would be absolutely hilarious considering how tall he is, ha!]

I got nothing.

Yours, truly

ch ch ch, ha ha ha

Happy Friday the 13th!

My inner scary movie buff so loves this kind of random pointless day of celebratory gore. I almost feel bad having not watched anything remotely scary today. I admit I have a love/hate relationship with horror flicks. Last Halloween I got so excited to celebrate the holiday that I watched scary movies for a week straight and ended up psyching myself out to the point that I was legitimately spooked. It was kind of embarrassing. What's worse, when I said the name of this post out loud to myself, I freaked myself out. [That's the sound that happens in the movie when Jason is coming...] 

In my defense, I'm home alone!

These days, Friday the 13th generally just consists of TV marathons and the occasional wandering crazy person [which in this city isn't really all that out of the ordinary anyway.]

Today, I'm feeling kind of random, so forgive me if this post turns out to be rather pointless...

I did want to comment, however, on my lack of book-related posts recently. I assure you, it is not for my lack of reading. But I'm slightly embarrassed to admit to you just what it is that's got me turning pages these past few weeks. I've mentioned before that I am a big fan of the HBO series TrueBlood. Well, a girlfriend of mine recently got me started on reading the series that inspired the show. They are the "Sookie Stackhouse" novels by Charlaine Harris, and I'm officially hooked. There is absolutely zero informational gain coming from reading these books, mind you, unless you count vampire knowledge, which I fear very few will. These are purely pleasure reads, and without going into too much detail, let's just say that name can be a double entendre. Yep, dirty vampire books. Quality reading, let me tell you. My reasonings are- 

a. I'm researching a show that I find very interesting;

b. it's the end of the summer so I'm giving myself a couple months to enjoy some light reading; and 

c. they are pretty fantastic, and I don't care if you judge me.

On the to do list for this weekend:

-Date night

-Shenanigans [I believe they are in order for a night off.]

-Sleeping in.

-Closing the bar two nights in a row [hopefully making lots of dollars in the process.]

Have a wonderful Friday the 13th! Be on the lookout for a guy with a white hockey mask. He's obviously confused and lost.

[I crack myself up.]

Yours, truly

Stripes and stars and TNT

Happy 4th of July!

I hope that everyone is enjoying time with family, delicious food, and lots of fireworks!

[because I most certainly am]

Here are my most favorite things about Independence day:

Nothing says freedom like a ribs on the grill and fresh watermelon.

[no seriously]

P.S.- the TNT reference in the title is two-fold: One, of course, being the large amount of explosives that the untrained civilian is allowed to have on this holiday and two, being, the fact that the movie Independence Day will be playing on TNT on repeat for an entire 24 hours. Can't help but watch it every year.

Yours, truly