a case of..

beer?

no.

diet coke?

sadly, not.

the giggles?

please.

"the monday's"?

DING DING.

What are "the monday's" anyways. From what I can glean, typical symptoms include laziness, puffy eyes with suitcases underneath them, a generally sour disposition towards any harsh noises, lights, or people, the urge to hurl upon sight of your bank statement, and some other extraneous and situational ailments including but not limited to a voice that sounds like a 12 year old boy.

Ah, the weekend remorse.

The achey, usually profane, rolling out of bed at the sound of the 6th snoozed alarm.

The vows against all sorts of debauchery for some undetermined amount of time.

The fastest 3 cups of coffee you will drink all week.

The deer in headlights look when someone asks you about something that happened last week, which you have since dumped out of your brain to make space for the montage of events that transpired over the last few nights.

The death-stare match between you and 3:45 pm [which you will usually lose].

There is only one silver lining to the weekend remorse. One clear reason for contracting a case of the Monday's.

Your weekend was just too fun.

Which you can't really be that upset about.

Especially when you come away with fun stories, like, "I played the washboard with a Zydeco band."