Tuesday, December 7, 2010

I'd like to have a coffee with Nietzsche.

Well hello, there.

First things first. I have been less than diligent in my blog posting as of late. I don't have an valid excuse like studying for finals or an extreme work schedule. In fact, my reasoning is probably of little to no consequence to all of you, although some my same-aged comrades may understand what it is I'm referring to. Essentially, I am experiencing my own personal existential crisis [as if there could be any other kind?]. It sounds dramatic, but I can't really think of a better way to describe my recent state of mind. Basically I'm coming up on 23, inherently self-absorbed, and surprisingly pessimistic. Or maybe I'm just a realist. Or maybe the two are one in the same?

See, this is what I mean. As I figure out my own belief system and continue to "pay my dues" on the fabled course of "what you are supposed to do with your life," there are many days where all I can bring myself to do is gripe
I don't want to be a whiner.

I especially do not intend to waste any one's time with my own bitter complaints about the true meaning of life. Although some of it does have great potential for discussion. And those tid-bits I will share, and I welcome your contributions.

All this to say that, I've kind of been following the principle of if you don't have anything nice to say, maybe you should just keep your trap shut. I don't want my blog to turn into a glorified diary of complaints significant only to my twenty-something emotions.

I've been easily bogged down recently by all of the real world snags. For example: student loans [I just found mine, first payment due in a week]; schedule conflicts at work [as in, stop scheduling me for all the crap shifts, please, and allow me to make a profit]; which leads me to what is my next step to finding a job I actually enjoy? [think a columnist gig similar to Carrie in SATC] how to I get there? And most pertinently, how on earth can I expect to stay up on all my dues this month and also figure in the most joyful [and expensive] holiday of the year- Christmas shopping?

As you can see, it's been a stressful month, and it is only the 7th.
But I am vowing to myself to stay positive. Here's how:

An up-to-date Excel spreadsheet outlining my bills and income [my OCD is so happy]
A clean house
Coffee and a slice of lemon loaf
A consistent work out routine with a buddy [which doubles our success rate]
Christmas movies

Got to love the little things, right?

Yours, truly


  1. we just started paying our student loans today so i can totally understand that feeling! it sucks...but i am ready to pay on them so they will be gone (eventually). my husband is in a similar rut as you...trying to figure out where to go from here sort of thing. so many things run through his head on a day to day basis and i just pray that a road opens up for him soon. It is tought jumping into the real world. i hope soon things will work out for you!

  2. I totally get you! Stupid 22 going on 23. I guess thats life though huh, sometimes its up and sometimes its down. (Hmmm, not very helpful of me...) I hope the weight of the world lifts off your shoulders soon and that you can have a relaxing and stress free Christmas (and one that is hopefully not too expensive!)