My butt misses you.

To anyone who has recently received a call from me at a very late hour and, upon answering [or leaving a voicemail], found that I was not responsive on the other end of the line,

You may have noticed loud rock music in the background, or the muffled sounds of patrons ordering more bud heavy and jager bombs. I apologize.

It seems that I have made an unconscious habit of butt- or apron-dialing random numbers in my phone, a situation that I never realize until much after it has occurred.

But, instead of being frustrated at the late-night call, think of it instead as my subconscious, or my butt, missing you terribly and simply reaching out to make sure you know that we're still friends [because, after all, I still have your number.]

Also I'm getting a new phone soon, hopefully with a better locking mechanism, among other things.

Yours, truly