There's so much to discuss here on this Friday!
Today is my last day at the station. It feels odd, but then again it feels just like any other day, except today I got a cake that said "Best Wishes, Amanda" on it. And it was chocolate.
I'm more emotional about leaving than I expected to be. Although I wasn't really close to many people here, there's a certain camaraderie that news stations have [which helps to make having to work all the hours a little more bearable.] And that is something that I will miss. I'll also miss that wonderful feeling of independence that comes from having your own gig. Fortunately this is something that I can control, and that I will certainly feel again.
The key right now for me is Confidence. I have to maintain the same resolve I had when I first decided to quit this job. [Otherwise-I might freak out a little bit, ha.] I didn't feel like it was right for me, and I felt that it was time for me to focus on a different aspect of my life. Hopefully, through this act of capriciousness/bravery [whichever you please] I will find something that really calls to me, and I will learn tons of other things about myself and about life.
-people here who have reached out to me
-having my own gig
-getting a regular paycheck
-not being all the way at the bottom of the totem pole
-already knowing how to do my job
-feeling like I'm not where I should be
-spending too much free time on Facebook [not a healthy lifestyle...]
-angry/morbid phone calls and stories
-angry/morbid phone calls and stories
-long distance relationships
Granted- some of the things that I won't miss may just as well repeat themselves in other jobs. But it's a give and take process. This is just the first step.
Which segue's wonderfully into Bronson's 6th section-Changes of Scenery. I won't spend much time on it [it was a relatively short section anyway]. Here, he basically describes how changing your surroundings can be the key to figuring out what really makes you happy, but most of the time, it's such a drastic step that people shy away:
"Why do so many people hush the longing to be someone different? It's not because they have to pay their student loans. It's not because the economy is in a lull. It's not because they don't have notions of what they'd like to be. It's because they don't want to be the kind of person who abandons friends and takes up with a new crowd. When is it running away, and when is it the best thing for you?"
He also talked a little bit about the advantages of traveling, especially internationally. This is a huge dream of mine. Since my study abroad experience, I have been itching to get back to Europe. I am currently in the process of convincing lkj that living in Spain for 6 months to a year is not only totally doable, but probably one of the coolest things that we could ever do. I think I just might win him over yet.
"At home, at work, at school, there are always a ton of external inputs coaxing you in the direction you're already going. Deadlines, parents chirping in your ear, friends wanting you to go out. Your life has a momentum. Traveling can take you away from all those influences, quiet their din, and allow you a kind of silence to consider who you are as an independent entity."
Re-reading these quotes gives me back some of that necessary confidence. I made a really hard choice, basically ensuring that I will have to take the long way to any kind of success, but that's the beauty of it! It's scary and new and poorly funded ha, but it's mine and it's all going to work out.
On a slightly unrelated side note- It's the beginning of July and that means kickoff to Amanda being a nomad for a month! Yay!
Starting tomorrow, I'll be doing some form of traveling en route to and/or between: Memphis, Knoxville, Wilmington, Nashville, and Las Vegas-in the middle of which I will also be moving everything I own 400 miles down the interstate back to Shelby County :)
Should be fun!